Proposal

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Bratcher Response

One thing that really stood out to me is how your sentence structure really contributed to giving you a specific voice throughout the piece. I didn't feel as if I was reading an account of an experience, I felt as if I was experiencing it first hand because your voice was so clear.

Do you have to be in a specific environment or mindset in order to write? Does inspiration come to you at random moments or can you find ways to inspire yourself at any moment?

Bratcher Response

Comment: One thing I loved about the style that was clear right away was how descriptive it is, but in a personal way. You don't just describe things at face value, it's as though I am reading a little slice of your mind. Everything is laid out according to your memory, and I liked the way all of these memories and stories contributed to your concept of your grandfather and his ear.
Question: When you write about these specific instances, is it right after they happen or what inspires you to recall these particular moments and situations?

Bratcher Response

The first thing that sticks out to me in this piece is the use of lists and long sentence structure. To me, this is a natural way of writing and it comes off as such in this piece. Using these techniques also adds to the scene of the piece, it sets up background and gives the author voice.

Question: Would it be necessary to describe the setting that is around the sign?

Bratcher Response

One of my favorite paragraphs in Falling Rock was when Bratcher describes his grandfather's life to be "incommensurable to mine in every way imaginable." The author listed his grandfather's jobs, "He had worked in coal, worked in construction, worked with trains..." and where he had lived, "He had fled West Virginia for Eastern Kentucky, Kentucky for South Carolina..." The sentences were not only very description but also written in such a way that flowed easily and mirrored his grandfather's impressive life.
Question: Who are some of your favorite authors, and do you take any sort of inspiration be it writing style or themes from their stories?

Bratcher Response

In Bratcher's writing I noticed that his sentence structure is very unique. All of his sentences are extremely long with very meticulous punctuation. It adds to his voice and style, and his writing seems very unconventional.

Question: Is your style of writing/sentence structure natural to you and your voice, or is it something you learned and adapted?

Bratcher response

I appreciate the clear differences in the two versions of "Station Island." I think I prefer the second version. The first version is much denser and reads slower. The perspective change is what made the difference in pacing, I think. Having the narrative be in the first person made it more relatable and thus more engaging for a wider range of readers.

One simple question I have is: Do you intend to develop this much more, or is this first-person narrative very close to the version you envision?

Comment and Question for Drew Bratcher

I really liked Falling Rock. At first glance I wasn't sure where the story would go but ending it with the story of the Indian princess was never something I imagined. The section about cutting the ear was a bit too gory for someone who freaks out at blood but overall it was a really cool story. I liked when he used more common language I could relate to and see myself saying. Also I liked when he would use multiple short questions in a row, it was something I could see myself doing.


How did you get to where you are today? Any tips for an aspiring writer? Where do you find inspiration when you're seriously lacking it?

Bratcher comment and question

Comment: I found it really interesting how different the two versions of "Station Island" were. The first almost seemed to me like a free writing; it felt like the underlying point of the Inn being a place for musicians to enjoy themselves and not necessarily give concerts came out at the end. The second version seemed to have that as the underlying theme from the beginning (or maybe that's just because I was thinking about it). Either way, I was surprised by the depth and span of the changes.
Question: How do you go about writing a piece like this? Do you do any type of free writing?

Bratcher Response

In Falling Rock, I really enjoyed how he used details to make such simple events interesting.

My question is how and when did he find out writing was what he wanted to do with his life?

Bratcher Question

In falling rock I noticed lots of little details.  I liked this because it really brought the story alive.

My question is: What are the most important things to remember when writing a travel essay?

Bratcher Response and Question

In Falling Rock, I noticed the variation in how sentences were started.  That technique kept me engaged.  Also, there were a lot of little details included that really added to the story and helped me picture the events.

My question is how many revisions do you do before you are satisfied with a story?

Bratcher Response

In Falling Rock, I noticed an effective use of similes. The biggest and most effective spot was during the description of the Indian girl named Falling Rock. I also noticed a ton of details nicely placed throughout the essay.

My question would have to be how were you able to remember all of these details and how did you decide where the appropriate placement would be for them within the essay?

Observation and Question for Drew Bratcher

In "Falling Rock," I found the anecdote about how a piece of Bratcher's grandfather's brother's ear was cut off to be particularly shocking and entertaining. The part where the dog gets the little piece of ear is a gross but wonderful little moment.

My question for Drew is: How do you write and revise your conclusions? I found both "Falling Rock" and the revised version of "Station Island" to have particularly nice conclusions. I noticed that the revised version of "Station Island" has a very different conclusion than the first one, so I was wondering what your process is in figuring out how to end a piece.

Snapshot

Izzy Ingle

Severino

Travel Writing

We’re smiling because…

            The hot Guatemalan sun beats down on our heads, and sweat pours down our faces faster than we can chug water to stay hydrated. We breathe heavily as we shovel massive piles of concrete and carry cinder blocks up and down a steep hill. A slight breeze drifts by and I close my eyes for a second to enjoy the cool air. Small Guatemalan children run around laughing, wearing tattered clothes. Stray dogs populate the streets. I’ve never worked so hard. I’ve never felt so much joy.

I stand, smiling, with the dense Guatemalan forest appearing behind me. As we go about our work, a couple of us pause for a second to pose for the picture. We’re smiling because it’s summer and it’s a gorgeous day in Sumpango, Guatemala. We’re happy because we’re together with close friends working on a project to help impact a poverty-ridden village. We’re laughing because between the long hours of shoveling cement, we have dance parties and chug AMP, an energy drink that could give a horse the jitters. We’re happily looking forward to the showers, card games, and beds that await us at the retreat center when we’re finished with our long day of work.

            The time I spend here, in Guatemala, is the best week of my entire summer. An entire week focused on bettering myself, making lasting friendships, and doing service for the world, makes for an experience that you can never forget. In this picture we’re purely high on life because we’ve never felt so satisfied with ourselves. We’ve never felt so good spending eight hours a day doing hard manual labor because we know that the families we’re helping are grateful. We know we’re giving children a better life, and this feeling is impossible to duplicate. We’re smiling because we are forever humbled by the experiences we’ve had here in Sumpango, Guatemala.

Horse Trail Adventures

For our family vacations we always went to Florida, typically splitting our time between Disney or Universal Studios and the beach.  However, all bored and disenchanted with Florida, we decided to go somewhere special as it was our last family vacation before I left for college.  We decided to embark on our biggest trip ever and spend eight days in Maui, Hawaii.

I’m always up for adventure and eager to try new things on vacation and after an exhilarating week of parasailing, snorkeling, hiking and zip-lining, our next adventure was taking me back to a long lost passion: horseback riding.  Three years earlier after a string of nasty falls ultimately resulting in a broken collarbone, I gave up my passion.  Although, on vacation, my sisters and I each get to choose an activity and I decided we were going to ride horses.

I had been eagerly anticipating our trail ride all week with a mixture of nervous butterflies and uncontained excitement.  My mom, dad and I chose to go on a morning ride to avoid the midday heat, but my sisters unhappy with the early nature of our activity, elected to stay behind at the condo.  The day was comfortably cool with a breeze from the nearby ocean creating the perfect day.  After driving up a long and winding dirt road surrounded by sugarcane, a large sign “Welcome to Ironwood Ranch” greeted us as we arrived at the stable.  As soon as I stepped out the car, the familiar smell of a horse stable filled my nose—sweet alfalfa hay and horse manure—I was home.  I walked quickly to the check-in point with my parents slowing ambling behind.  Our trail leader, Ashley, greeted us and handed us a safety manual.  I breezed through the manual already familiar with horse safety and riding techniques.  My parents, complete novices, worked slowly through the manual.

“Who here has any riding experience?” Ashely asked.  I was the only one out of a group of five people that raised their hand.  “Okay, you’ll ride Kona.”  Ashely assigned my mom to ride Magic Mike and my dad Shania Twain, which got a laugh from everyone in the group.  The other husband and wife duo of our group rode Lady Gaga and Viggo Mortensen while Ashley rode Taylor Swift. 

Ashely led Kona to me and I stepped onto the mounting block and easily swung my right leg over Kona’s wide body.  It was like I had never stopped riding—my body assumed the natural riding position and I confidently gave Kona a little nudge to begin walking.  The phenomenon of rider and horse becoming one was thrilling to once again experience.  I was in sync with Kona’s movements able to readjust my posture naturally as we walked on the trail. However, our trail was surrounded on all sides by sugarcane—a delectable treat for horses especially for Shania Twain.  Shania, fat and old, was giving my dad quite a rough time. 

“She won’t stop eating!”  My dad called from the back of the group.  We stopped to wait for my dad to redirect Shania who begrudgingly began to walk.  Thankfully, I was able to keep Kona away from most of the sugarcane.    

Ashley led us up and down rocky hills, through a stream and lush foliage until we finally reached a lookout point where the ocean exploded in front of us.  The turquoise water was lazily lapping at the shore line, the saltiness permeating the air.  A gentle breeze ruffled Kona’s mane.  The abounding beauty and peace of the scenery was mesmerizing.  We all sat quietly a top our horses taking in our surroundings. 

After spending time at the lookout point, it was a quick ride back down to the stable.  I was sad that my time with Kona was over.  I led him back to his stall and spent a few minutes stroking his neck eventually resting my head on his muzzle while rubbing his soft velvety nose. 

“Thank you,” I whispered to him.  “Deep down I was scared I wouldn’t be able to do it—but you helped me realize that I can overcome my failures.”

White Rabbit

I believe the theme of Keith's essay is overcoming challenges and problem solving. The reason I say this is because Keith spends a lot of time talking about certain precautionary supplies she brought, and dangers/difficulties she comes by on her hikes in the mountains.
I like the language use on page 4, "I am carrying a rain jacket, balaclava, goggles, overmitts, an ice axe. A headlamp, and a spare microlight, just in case. Two quarts of water. Two insulated water bottle holders. Handwarmers. Gorp. Pop-Tarts, without frosting." The language continues like this for the entire paragraph, and I think it's an effective way to show the importance and thought you have to put into packing your bag for such trips.
A second language choice I found effective was the mentioning of the white rabbits throughout the piece. The rabbits didn't seem to have a lot of purpose to the story plot-wise, but it was effective in the way that it tied the story together throughout the whole thing.

White Rabbit

I think the theme of White Rabbit was that being prepared is key to feeling confident and open to enjoying one's travels. Keith is so prepared that she can handle whatever unexpected events pop up in her travels, and enjoy herself regardless. She knows exactly how to handle herself and the situation, which allows her to feel confident on her journey.

The language Keith uses conveys a tone of certainty. I loved the way she used varied sentence structure to convey her confidence in herself: "I have followed the tracks of rabbits and birds, foxes and deer, moose, and humans. I have followed my own tracks." (1). I also enjoyed how her language didn't romanticize the climbing, even though you could still tell she enjoyed it. For instance, "I start down. Down is harder than up." (5.) She doesn't put too much emphasis on reaching the top of the mountain, her real concern is the entirety of the climb, both up and down.

White Rabbit

I see the theme of White Rabbit to be that accomplishing something like a hike in not about the physical act but is in the preparation.  I see this when Keith says "the hiking is the easy part" and when she talks about the preparation it took her to prepare for hiking alone.  One place that I found the language effective is when Keith is talking about everything she brought and ends a lot of the sentences with just in case.  I liked this because it showed that there are a lot of variables.  I also liked how she talked about her pop tart not having icing.  It added some humor to the story.

White Rabbit

A theme that I picked up on in the story White Rabbit is the theme of decisions. The author makes the decision to go alone, and she says that when she goes in groups she doesn't make the same decisions. "Alone, I would have been somewhere else," she says. She would have picked a different climb or a different day with less danger. She also talks for a long time about how every item she chose to bring along on the trip represents a different choice that she had to make. "Every item brought and not brought is a decision."

White Rabbit

I think the theme of White Rabbit is that the author was proud of being alone to discover the beauty of hiking in winter. The evidence is, "Today the reward was the laughter, the sound of myself finding myself alone. And to have been, for a little while, alone. Self-contained. Self sufficient."

I love the sentence which is in page 6, "I who loved neither mountains nor winter loved mountains in winter.", the structure is really good,  two negatives make a positive. Also I am attracted by another sentence, "What you need most is imagination, a willingness to step beyond the frame of the everyday, to follow the rabbit.", Here I think the rabbit not only means rabbit but also means heart, follow the rabbit means follow your heart; follow your heart to do anything beyond the frame, beyond the imagination.

White Rabbit

To me the theme of Keith's essay is that you have to be prepared to follow up until the point where you need to veer off to get to your goals. At the beginning the author talks about how they actively follows the bunny footprints but as soon as they start to go away from the path, they forge their own.

Two of my favorite pieces of writing are when the author adds in a flair of their voice. For example, 'This is a good day. So far my level of error is having bought unfrosted Pop-Tarts. Doesn't count.' Things like this are really relatable and help you connect with the piece on a more emotional level. Additionally, the last sentence has really good word choice and flow. 'But I did;t learn it myself until all the tracks were gone, and I could enter wonderland alone.' It really sums up the piece nicely and ends it on a happy and almost majestic note.

White Rabbit - Alex Kruse

1. I believe the theme of "White Rabbit" to be one of preparedness. Keith is not scared or nervous or worried about her travels because of how she is prepared and ready for what is to come. She addresses the risks and assesses danger in a way which is educated and logical. She accepts the possibility of what may happen but trusts her own skills.

2. I enjoy the language that Keith uses throughout this essay because it is straight and to the point, a manifestation of the climbing community itself. I really enjoy her little tips that she includes throughout, such as ,"It's okay to lose the way forward. It's not okay to lose the way back." I also like the rebellion in her spirit which seems to be a trait among climbers, particularly when she says, "I am resistant to the force of gravity, would rather push against than be pushed."

Cross-Cultural Encounter - Reece Wadle

            It was the day after move-in here at the University of Iowa, and I seemed to be all settled in.  I was tidying up a few last minute things when I received a text from a friend.  He had just finished moving in. 

“Come to Stanley,” he said.  “You’ve gotta see my living situation.” 

Hmmm, I thought to myself.  What could possibly be so different about his situation?

“I’ll be over in 10,” I replied.  As I was walking over, I texted him again.  “What’s your room number?” 

He responded, “Third floor lounge.” 

Lounge? I thought.  Why on earth would he be living in the lounge? 

At the time I had no idea that temporary housing existed, but I followed his directions and soon arrived at the door.  There were eight name tags.  I recognized Joe’s name but had trouble reading several of the others.  Upon opening the door, I saw a handful of people unpacking their things and settling into the barracks-style living quarters. 

“Hey Joe,” I said.  He looked happy to see me. 

“This might take some getting used to,” he said.  “But there’s someone you’ve gotta meet.” 

I followed Joe to the other side of the lounge.  “This is my ‘roommate’, David,” Joe said.

I don’t remember seeing a David on the door. 

“I am David,” Joe’s roommate said to me. 

“It’s nice to meet you David!” I said, reaching my hand out for a shake.  “Where are you from?” I asked. 

“Guangzhou, China.  Very far away.” 

Yeah, I’ll say.  Makes my three-and-a-half-hour drive seem like nothing. 

“I’ve never heard of it before, but that’s definitely far away,” I said. 

“Where is your home?” David asked, his words carefully thought out. 

“I’m from a small town called Algona.  It’s here in Iowa.”  My words were carefully enunciated. I felt myself speaking louder than was necessary. 

He’s not a toddler. You can speak normally to him, Reece.

 I panicked. “Are you excited for classes to start?” 

Of course he wasn’t.  No college kid is. 

“I am worried,” David said.  “It will be different.” 

“You’ll do fine though, I’m sure.  You seem like a bright guy.” 

You just met him five minutes ago, Reece.  How would you know? 

“University of Iowa is not like Guangzhou 47.” 

“Guangzhou 47?  Was that your old school?” I asked curiously.

“Yes. I liked it there.” 

“You’ll like it here too!” 

“I hope so,” David said. 

I can’t imagine going halfway across the world to attend college.  That takes some serious guts.

 “So do I! I’ve got to help Joe unpack a few things now, but it was nice meeting you, David.” 

“Yes, yes, you too,” he said, ending our conversation.

  At the time, I had no clue, but talking to David would be one of the most enjoyable parts of visiting Joe in temporary housing over the next couple weeks.  I was able to see firsthand how much his English was improving, and I gained a fuller appreciation for what it means to be an international student here at Iowa.  David even became comfortable enough to be a bit long-winded at times.  A simple question would result in a long and developed answer.  This did prove to be informational, though.  In fact, I was able to get an explanation behind the name of his high school, Guangzhou 47.  An explanation that turned into a lesson on the entire Chinese education system.